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I have never been a great lover of movies. My mother adored movies and was a font of knowledge about all sorts of movies, from big Hollywood productions to small independent films. She loved comedies and dramas and everything in between.
My problem with movies is simple; I just think that most of them are pretty bad. I have no interest in celebrities, have no idea who most of them are, and couldn't care less about where they go, what they do, what they are wearing, or whether or not they have been in rehab. If I have to stand in line at the store I can look at all the tabloids and magazines and recognize only a few of the people on the covers.
There are a few actors that I like in the movies and on TV, although I don't even know their names. I can only recognize them by sight, and a lot of them are just character actors who play a lot of minor rolls. My mother carried a school girl crush for an actor from the time she was very young and for all her life, which my brothers and I found infinitely amusing. There are some actors I like whose names I actually know, although I don't bother following what they do or make a point to see their movies or shows. I once had to take a personality test that asked who was the one person with whom you would choose to be stranded on a deserted island. I said MacGyver, of course. He was handsome, brilliant, clever, sweet, funny, and could make anything out of a roll of duck tape, a good length of rope, and a flashlight battery. All in all, I figured that he was the perfect choice. I was told that I couldn't choose him because he was not real. I didn't see the point, neither was the chance that I would ever be stranded on a deserted island with the person of my choice.
My problem with movies is mostly about the fact that I generally think that the plots are weak, the writing is horrible, and the acting is worse. I find a lot of modern comedies crude, silly, and even embarrassing. I have no desire to be frightened out of my shoes or horrified by a guy with a chainsaw, ghouls, zombies, or hideously ugly aliens who ooze slime. I have tried to analyze the need many people have to be scared, but I just don't get it. Isn't real life scary enough? It is for me. The idea of ghosts or demons doesn't scare me at all and I have no fear of snakes or bats or bugs like a lot of people do. I am far more concerned with the harm that could come to me or my children by corporeal things that walk on two legs.
I know that there are some movies that have received considerable acclaim that are said to, "make you think." The fact of the matter is, I don't really need help thinking and I feel that I do a rather good job of it on my own and for free. I don't need to be shown the real world through a theatrical production; I pay attention to it in real time I have no desire to pay money to share in some character's angst, neurosis, psychosis, or tragedy. I get that from people with whom I deal every day and don't even have to buy a ticket or expensive snacks. I want movies to entertain me, excite me, make me laugh, or show me something artistic. As a consequence, my list of favorite movies is pretty short. I like comedies if they don't include a lot of jokes about bodily functions or have a cast of characters too stupid to cross a street safely. I don't like movies with endless streams of bad language. I can't help feeling that using the same 3 or 4 words as both adjectives and verbs in the dialog for over two hours demonstrates a rather alarming lack of imagination on the part of writers. They must love it since it means a whole lot less work for them.
I like adventure movies so long as they have an interesting plot. I get a little tired of multiple explosions and non-stop gunfire, particularly when entire cities, countless vehicles, and numerous nameless people are destroyed in the first five minutes of the movie.
I like historical movies so long as they don't monkey around with the facts too much. I don't like it when they invent things that never happened or events that never occurred. I like it when filmmakers get things historically accurate as often as possible.
On the whole, I can't help feeling that hokey as some of them may have been, there was something to be said for the old time movies and actors. I wouldn't mind having Cary Grant, or Humphrey Bogart, or Katherine Hepburn back in the movies. Cary Grant could be sexy and charming without getting intimate with every woman in a movie, Bogart could be tough without killing roomfuls of people or blowing up buildings, and Katherine Hepburn could be smart, beautiful, and sexy without dressing like a call girl, cussing like a sailor, or taking off her clothes at the drop of a hat. That would be a nice change. I might even go to the movies, but at these prices, I doubt it.
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