| I pride myself on being a tough sort of person. I don't whine or complain much, I power through pain and kick myself when I get depressed or blue, and I have a kind of Spartan theory of how I should be, but after my drive home tonight in a white-out accompanied by brutal winds and heavy fog I have decided that I have had just about enough of winter this year.
When I listened to the weather this morning I didn't hear the chirpy weather guy warning me that I would be taking my life in my hands at 4 PM if I decided I might like to drive home. He didn't even suggest that things might get a wee bit dicey. It was snowing a little, but nothing worth worrying about. That is, until I suddenly drove across some imaginary line into an alternate dimension. It was literally like one moment it was fine and the next minute I was in the North Pole or on some brutal wind swept plain in Siberia. I couldn't see a thing; the rear lights of the car in front of me completely disappeared instantaneously, and icy stuff began to rain down upon me like a demented snow globe. The traffic lights were completely invisible until I was pretty much on top of them and any street lights had evidently decided that it was a complete waste of time to even try to come on. It was like some horrible winter nightmare complete with all the special effects that indicate the horrible wrath of the gods or the coming of the apocalypse.
I'm a good driver and I generally don't let weather get to me, but I find it extremely unhelpful when I can't see anything. I was at least 10 miles from home and was only marginally convinced that I was going in the right direction to get there. I became a little tense to say the least, like grinding my teeth, hands clenched on the wheel, spine drawn as tight as a bow tense. I had been listening to the news, which I always do on the way home, but I had to turn it off because for some reason, I found myself thinking about grabbing a hold of the newscaster and throttling him. Being tense makes me a little testy.
This is the second time in the space of a few weeks that I have had to drive home in conditions that created visibility of about 6 inches. The last time was at night with fog so heavy that it was like driving in pea soup. What is up with all the fog? Is the fog confused? Does it think that it is in London or San Francisco or something? Did it get lost or get the wrong directions? Its not that I have never seen fog around here before but never so bad that I couldn't see either the yellow or the white lines on the road. The fog makes me tense, which, of course, makes me a little snippy. Fog and blizzard-like snow accompanied by wind makes me downright ugly.
In retrospect, I can see that it was rather foolish of me not to just stop somewhere, get a cup of tea and wait it out, but it honestly did not occur to me to do so. I believe that there is some kind of primal need to get 'home' that drove me to continue because home is associated with safety. Either that or I'm an idiot, which is just as likely. When I finally did make it home I had to consciously relax my body and pry my hands off of the steering wheel and sit in the car for a moment while my heart stopped pounding and my blood pressure returned to normal before I could get out. Getting in the house was not a long trip, but by the time I got through the door I was covered in ice and a bit disheveled. Chuck took one look at me and my expression, helped me off with my coat and went to make me a cup of tea. Sometimes he can demonstrate remarkable powers of deduction and excellent judgment, bless him. I was home but I was still testy. My jaw hurt from being clenched, my hands hurt from the death grip I had on the wheel, my back hurt for reasons I couldn't determine, I was covered with ice, and I looked like bedraggled old gypsy after a bar fight. I wasn't happy.
A hot shower and dinner helped some, but I am still really grumpy. I'm sick of snow and I'm sick of ice and I'm sick of cold, and I firmly believe that there is very little hope of any of it ending any time in the immediate future, regardless of whatever the stupid, fat ground hog saw or didn't see when he crawled out of his wretched little hole. Right now I feel as if winter will last until next winter when it will just start up all over again and become just a giant ferris wheel of winter that never stops. It will be forever winter.
I just heard the weather for tomorrow on the news. 'Unseasonably freezing temperatures', the perky weather person says. I must still be a little tense because I feel like throttling the perky right out of her.