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Gary from Palmyra writes: “John, I heard this great story down at the store here in town and the fella who told it to me, looked me right in the eye and assured me it was true.
“A waitress in Bar Harbor found a wallet in a booth last summer and when she went through it looking for identification she discovered it contained over $1,000 cash. This guy at the store said it took her a few days but she eventually tracked down the man who owned the wallet. As you might expect he was extremely grateful for its return and went on and on about how he couldn't thank her enough for its return.
“But rather than show his gratitude with a handsome reward he merely gave her a $1 Megabucks ticket he happened to have in his pocket.
“The waitress was so upset with the cheap gesture that she almost crumpled it up and flung it back at him, but she put it in her coat pocket instead and went on her way.
“The next Saturday night all the ticket's numbers came up and the lucky waitress went on the collect $3.5 million.
“As far as you know, is there any truth to this story? Like I said, this guy at the store claims it's true.”
Thanks for the e-mail, Gary, I can certainly understand why you'd tend to believe a story that you heard from some guy down at the store, which should almost guarantee its veracity.
Every morning here in Maine some of the wisest scholars, pundits, poets, philosophers, politicians and parolees gather in stores like yours, Gary, and one truth-filled story after another.
According to the little-known state agency that regulates such activity - the Department of Veracity in Stores (DVS) - there has never been a falsehood uttered around a local store's coffee pots in the forty-two-year history of the agency.
I hate to think that the first falsehood was uttered in a nice town like Palmyra, Gary, but as far as I can tell the story is bogus.
A good one, though. And now that your town's record for truth has been shattered, you might as well keep telling it like it was true.
John McDonald is a humorist and storyteller who performs regularly throughout
New England. Contact John at or 899-1868.
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